Your First Thought Is Lying to You

How to survive 1,000+ unsubscribes, a shame spiral, and literally any moment that makes you feel unwanted

Eighteen months. That’s how long it had been since I sent out a newsletter.

And when I finally did, I lost 1,100+ subscribers within hours.

It was wild to watch. Numbers dropping, unsubscribes stacking. I felt it instantly—my heart started racing, my body got tight, and I could feel my mood shift in real time. That meant the chemicals in my brain and body were shifting too.

And then the thoughts came.

Not neutral ones. Not helpful ones. Just fast, automatic, judgmental ones.

“This was a mistake.”

“People don’t care anymore.”

“I waited too long.” (This one made me sad, as the delay was due to saving myself from the deepest depression of my life.)

It was fascinating—and also painful—because I could see it happening. I was watching my unconscious run the script it’s always run: fear, rejection, abandonment, failure.

But this time, I didn’t want to go with it. I didn’t have to go with it.

I knew I had a choice.

In Your Unconscious Is Showing, when I ask my readers to create their Conscious Growth Plan—a self-created treatment plan for change—one of the tools I suggest is the concept of first thought, second thought.